[Ewwerrin]

I always want to create a reality and then I succeed in manifesting the reality of my intention. And then... it feels fake. It feels like everything is fake. All the things I felt bad about, then changed the reality and then feel good about it(even tho I actually focused and felt good before the manifestation). It's a nice ability. But it also makes everything feel like an illusion. Like that what is outside of me is not real. Even tho it is, but when it expands, that even tho I created it, what I created is more than what I created it to be. Infinite...

It's fake in the sense that I created it, and that things I created also comes with things that I didn't create. Or am I just not aware that I had put them in my vortex? Maybe a long time ago and completely forgot about it?

Because I find it hard to understand that I have been creating all of this. And why? Why did I also even create a reality where I don't even remember why I created it, and sometimes even forget that I am the creator of my own reality.

Like there has to be an eternal me that knows all of it, that can help me remember all of it, but I can't find it. Like the "vortex" or "God Source". Is that what holds the true perspective of the true reality behind all of it and how and why it was all created by me and why and how. Where my true will and true real intention is. Always held in perfect vibrational escrow. Like God Source.