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Originally Posted by asearcher
Honey, with all due respect, that feeling exactly - feeling like you are home - that is a feeling one get with a soulmate. Sure, you can find home within yourself (harmony) too - but that, that right there - to be home with someone else, that is something great (part of greatness) and not something to throw away.
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I realize this may be a stupid memory but one of the first I had that made me realize just how different my friend was from my husband.
At the time I drove a minivan and I wanted to trade it in for a Wrangler. I was so excited to move on to the next chapter and at the end of the purchase, my h showed up at the dealer and was annoyed he had to be there. He then started making fun of me to the sales guy as to why I am even buying it because I don't even open my sunroof on the van, blah blah blah. I remember how embarrassed I was and it was definitely awkward.
When I showed the pic of my new Jeep to my friend the next day, he was so excited for me and told me how much he loved it and went on and on. I remember thinking why couldn't my h be like that?
And I considered my h home - until I met my friend, my "home" was being made fun of and being made to feel bad for being me. That completely changed after that. I allowed my my marriage to play out as it should and I did actually try, I spent years in therapy and tried to get him to go also and he wouldn't - until now of course. I do not want to get in the middle of someone else's marriage (more so than I already did). That is his choice to make. So if it is meant to be then it will be. If it isn't, I will always be thankful for what I learned from the journey and hope that he is happy and content in whatever he chooses as well.
I am trying to have a leap of faith and go with the flow but it is a little hard for me - but I am trying.
