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Originally Posted by Marie
I know the pain, but the answer to it is higher consciousness, expanded.. Thats the only thing that works and gives answers. And gets you over the hurdles. Do you have messenger wanna talk? (Think you gotta add fb for that one) or skype. I know, its a pain in the bottom.
Well, the near soulmate and me been together for like ten years. He has a lot of the knowledge, as hes awake. For several years, we lived the law of One. Very similar to the purity of what we know about. You know, the higher laws. Right. He was my best friend for years. Still there was a nagging feeling he wasnt tf. I thought he was first,nbut its clear to me now hes just close soulmate. He was a very good, godly man. But he had a terribly abusive childhood, i helped him a lot as well as he did, but hes dealing with the pain now, and its extreme. He became abusive towards me, and moved away. Now hes by own accord at a home for homeless men, where he gets free psychotherapy, meds and all. So far hes been diagnosed fibromyalgia, aspergers and disociative(multiple)disorder. His mind couldnt cope with the pain so in order to protect himself, he split his mind, and now in therapy he can probably collect some of it. To various degrees. He also has entity posession, of course, with that past, he believes hes talking to my HS, and another woman too, that hes met briefly in his childhood where he goes on 'i know where she lives, shes married to an abuser, not allowed to leave, were all gonna morph into this famous top model, one male one female top models, and were gonna get a new life, youre number two, etc talk. He believes hes God, jesus etc and all this talk which btoke my heart before i understood hes ill. Of course theres no woman like it even if there was they dont know eachother, he invents all this. Now he comes to me and comes and goes.
I am there for him, im about to move to a bit larger place, and he is tempted to move back, but i dont think he will, even though he said maybe. He might get a place on his own. But im working a lot so..
Then, the lower tf, who is in US where im in Uk. We have a mutual friend, who i got to know due to some atlantean business. Me and twin or tein ray, -confusing- were high priest/priestess in atlantis regarding law of one. Fighting evil to the last, this time destined to go get our stuff from then and restart all.
This, lower tf, as i call him, thinks hes it. As we know about it i cant say it isnt, he does have my face identical, which is very spooky, and my body,except for being male. Hes all over psychic so he knows but i have abilities too.
Whats happened, hes into deep dark occult, vampirism, thinks im in denial about it,(symptoms) posts pictures from my thoughts on his profile, astrals and kundalini or it continues after ive left the bed as i have work to do, driving me nuts feel it move at root. I didnt want it but he did it anyway. Same drove my soulmate to move, giving me deadlines for when he wanted him out, all his illness started when he came into my life. I dont say anything but its weird. Yes he was jealous. We dont talk, but he still astrals, and our mutual friend keeps tabs. I know he cant stand to loose me but he went off to be with a gay man as hes bi, and im definitely straight as i can be. Just the thought of him doing me being there repulse me. For not talk about him being a scorp with all negative trait of that sign in high function i cant have that either, or the lifestyle vamp thing i dont want to do with, you cant even come close to the artefacts that way and ive warned him. But to no avail. Hes too low! And times ticking. Hes just annoying me. Then theres my friend from atlantis that was told that my twin ray is a native american apache, well ive been feeling him too, im relieved as theres a lot of advantages, and we have been natives many lives. Hes hiding i just know which state etc. I have had visions about their logo, like ive seen it before, its weird. But hes in Arizona and i dont know where or how. So i guess im stranded, until. He knows at least he did and he swore to find me and source and the elders swore. Then, the nig question, what do i do with the rest! The soulmate wont let me go, and theres a lot of love, but hes ruined the trust and the friendship. And the other look how he behaves. And running big time.
I know the lower comes running at some point, probably when twin ray comes along. But i love my twin ray the most and would chose him over anything, as i remember it all, and we have a mission. I have difficulty leaving the soulmate as theres so much love and hes vulnerable he only has me.
I cant live like the lower and i have to be with the other.
But to actually.. I dont know how it would be doable.
Why are they so jealous? Im not jealous at all of the lower, for example.. Im just happy he gets whats needed, to contribute..
If they dont, our souls wont grow and we wont ever be.
Its like an experience for us too.
The love is still, unchanged, so why be jealous.
I dont get why they reject, but still want. When they know.
And the lower destroys me being with the soulmate, hes around and his energy interferes, or hes just been with me and i cant, or ive felt the apache and reject them both which mess me ip further to the point of only feeling kundalini and no lower sex drive! And the soulmate only wanna do that and complains i have no lust, which im not into, i tried raise his energy and talk about tantric but he doesnt want to, and dont want the base. And i dont want him in that either i only want twin ray and the lower destroys it and just keep goung making the kundalini worse.
If youre supposed to be with the higher any work with a tf wont work im convinced because the higher will always be in the way and return. Its kinda same situation. I believe the ray will return when hes finished running. It might be the lower is just another step. Its just what if not then there is a problem when ray returns.
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