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Hi asearcher, you are correct when you say be cautious about your mothers finances. Fortunately my brother would not deliberately try to scam us from my mothers finances. I have noticed my brother gets extremely upset if I question anything about it. My husband and I have questioned it as the finances do not seem to make sense. I cannot do anything about it. My brother has power of attorney. My sister in law thought she would be in charge and take things that did belong to her. I confronted her about it and not surprising she was angry with me. I got the items back except the crystal swan that I gave to my mother was broken. She blamed it on me. I said to her it was very likely to break as you wrapped it up with another ornament. The neck of the swan was thin and delicate. I just have to be aware of what is going on.
Thank you asearcher, I never thought of that. You are right, it still does not give my brother the right wanting to know our finances. I would not want my brother and sister in law asking to borrow money from us. He has asked us for a lot of money to put my parents in a nursing home. Not an ordinary home, a very expensive home. I was extremely stressed and I knew I could not give the money. Things changed and it never happened. That is another reason not to let them know our finances. It would likely cause other problems.
Of course I am happy my mother is still alive, I do not want to give the wrong idea. While my mother is alive I will be connected to my brother and sister in law. My brother has changed a lot. He is not as nice as he used to be. I think a large part of it is he lives with his wife. She influences him a lot. If I was living with someone like that I do not think it would change me. I will occasionally contact my brother from time to time. I doubt I will be seeing my sister in law and brother much.
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