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I'm suprised by some of the thoughtless comments here. Please try to find an NLP practitioner and also EMDR. Both these treatments will readjust the way your brain functions and allow you to start making the changes you so desperately want & need.
Your mother likely had trauma in childhood, perhaps through not having an available primary attachment figure (parent) because these things are reflected when we become adults. Drugs fulfil a void and multiple short term relationships show unwillingness to commit, likely due to past relationship trauma (parent or otherwise).
You are your mother's prized child. This is very unhealthy behaviour to aim at a child. The parent is using the child to gain something for themselves, or else increase their sense of self worth. This can evolve into coercive control and I see this very much in your writing.
I think you would find attachment theory useful. It talks about parent/child relationships. Your mother was probably unavailable emotionally and did not meet your needs even as an infant. This can have a major impact in developing your sense of self - parent doesn't show you loving care or acknowledgement and this just becomes normal reality for you, along with any unhealed traumas or distress.
You say you feel like a 6 year old child. I have no doubt this is so and woe behold anyone that tells you to grow up and move out. How rude of them.
Your mother takes advantage of this and justifies why you need to stay under her. This is coercive control and arises from you being the "prized child". Research attachment theory and also NLP treatment to recovery from this. Your words alone tell me that you have not developed a sense of self and likely your self esteem is derived from your mother's approval. NLP will assist your brain in changing in such a way that you are finally able to support yourself mentally and emotionally. Confidence in yourself will develop during this process and you'll become an individual, completely seperate from your family. By this stage in treatment, your history will not be so much of a burden to you. Your sense of self may allow you to walk away from it all together. But please continue some form of treatment to help you intergrate your new life, otherwise you are apt to repeat your past no matter how much you try to avoid it.
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