[ThatMan]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Um, maybe we should have a talk about this ''unworthy' thing you got goin' on!!!
That had Neon lights around it for me!

Had another experience this morning.

I found myself half awake, I was like floating in a sea of awareness, when suddenly, I heard a voice and saw many images. It was my mind.

It was talking and talking and talking and never ceasing to show me images of my life of imaginary versions of the future, telling me that I am not good enough that I still have to learn so much so that I can reach the Source. It was taking me in dreams, showing me instances where I was making the bad decision and then giving me the chance to make the right decision, saying that I need the knowledge of good and evil to move further.

My mind appeared like a shadow, like an entity that was a shadow of who I am. It kept on talking and showing me images, telling me why I need it, why I need my mind, that is essential for me to learn, that without it there's no learning, something like that.

It went full power, the darkest thoughts that ever crossed my mind appeared to me, the mind what saying, look, you are not good enough. Then seeing that this not working, it started talking about how I can die at any moment, how my family can die at any moment, now fear appeared and it was like a lion, ready to devour me. Then all sorts of crazy thoughts appeared, like I was not safe at all, that people are to kill me, and things like that.


I witnessed all of this, saying nothing, I turned back from the mind and let myself drift away in this sea of awareness, suddenly, the mind disappeared and a very deep peace came over me, this peace stayed with me and even now I experience it, many hours later.

My mind appeared like it was the devil, the accuser, accusing me of everything that I've done and even for the things I have not done yet because they are to happen in the future, ha ha ha ha. I was put face to face with all my inner darkness and I was accused because of its presence in me. The accusations were to make me see that I am not good enough to reach the Source, that I still have to learn a lot. This was not easy for my physical body, it felt like torture, while nothing could get to me, not even my mind.

My mind faded away, I am at peace, that kind of peace that comes from deep within. This remainds of Buddha and of Jesus, both were tempted in different ways.