Hi Ghaleon!

I don't mind at all your socalled "long winded response", LOL - have you seen one of mine - when I go all into it? Not even I have the patience to read through my own stuff sometimes. Yours is nothing compared! :) and it was interesting what you wrote.

I've done meditations for years. It began with the usual past life meditation/s, and this one time the one doing it on me took for granted I would see the light or I would go through some tunnel - that I would just leave my body and go to heaven. That is not what happened. What happened was that I still saw myself as living (as spirit) and I was moving around or be stuck in the low level existence (perhaps not the lowest) as well as keeping an eye on my loved ones. My death came in fast and was traumatic. I had plans to do! I was not old! OK - I was a little old, but you know the saying age is just a number...I was a mom! Because I had split from an abusive husband in that life our religioun, community, priest - confined me outside of it, I was not allowed back in and I think that hurt me, and made me question things, and that may have been why I did not see that light after I had died. The husband in that life had some strong narcissistic features and controlling but were at other times good, so it was confusing. He was smart - and so people, the church, believed him. He had almost driven me to insanity, and had this image about him people bought, and i came off looking like something else than I was. He was allowed to smack me around and if he did there was nothing I could do about it. There was this report that stated I filed for a police report that led to nothing saying he had done that, he in return said I had hit him back, completely furious, and he confessed to what he had done. And so somehow that made him look like the good guy! When he had started everything. That my violence to him was even worse, and he "let that happen", he could show off scars from my nails scratching him (to get him away). Those days domestic violence was seen as a private matter and by some as if the wife must have done something to have deserved it. He came off it looking as if he had had a rebel for a wife. All these things I think is what kept me there, out of the light. There's much to this story, but I will try to keep it short.

Because of various experience through meditation and dream state and possible astral traveling I have read the situations as if it is not only one straight way to Heaven, there are other existences, and beings. There are memories that are "scoped up", that do not have to be my own, still trying to figure it out, but are with me regardless. Because of the time table there is more than one colliding with each other. Either it is a split soul (more experienced soul) or as you put it scoped up memories from various sources/original spirits or I am some sort of radar to it when being "down there".

I will wrote more later...and hope that is OK? :)