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Hi hekotes630,
I think you know it all, your message is very clear.
You have to go through that sort of rite of passage because something is wrong within you, in your habits.
Your aunt knows it as well.
As the Archangel Raphael told you, you should find a girlfriend to help you in that, or endure it all by yourself.
But as it seems it's too hard for you to handle, therefore I would recommend you to follow his instructions.
There is nothing much we can do, sorry for that.
At this moment you may not see beyond, and this is why it looks so hard and you don't see beauties, like you mention.
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