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Originally Posted by loopylucid
Im 43, been involved in spirituality most of my life, almost ocd the heck out of every subject, the ones i found any ability in, i offered out, i listened to the ages of eons ago up untill now, the great gurus, the not so great gurus, spent a long time learning, listening, giving, and i suddenly find myself at a point where it all feels like **. Were not talking a little into it hitch, ive dedicated my whole life to a spiritual education, and now it feels like **! So im not looking for how to get back on the path! or how to meditate and i will feel better, looking for experiences similiar and where they led you to :) appreciate your time x  |
I'm in my ninth decade. I've been 'looking' for eight of them. Like you the endless searches have ended in nothing. No, not quite nothing - I do know that I know nothing - whereby this knowledge of knowing nothing can also be turned into words of wisdom by some who cannot bear the thought of living in a world where goodies and baddies don't exist.
I'm pretty sure that all we 'know' of everything has been driven and built on by our individual and collective imaginations. Those old initial tales have always been added to and compiled in such a way that they have been turned into beliefs for those who cannot live without a reason. The thought of there being a universe not overlooked by some great and all powerful arbitrator is sheer poison to them.
Then we have science - the opposite - but a science which admits it knows nothing and changes its mind every few years as new facts or instances appear.
Nevertheless the world has moved (forwards or backwards depending upon your personal POV) ridding itself to a great extent of poverty and disease as well as ridding itself to a great extent of delusion. The main impetus here has been science and medicine and the spread of compassion through the human race.
Personally I'm sure that when that which we so eagerly talk of as The Truth finally comes to light we'll have our socks knocked off.
As the end of my life approaches I realise that I don't need any imagined burdens on my back: no Jesus, no Buddha, no Mohammed, etc., - and especially no moral entity breathing down my neck.
It's all the same to the universe how I live, at a guess I'd say the universe, through its evolution is only really interested in the back-up that I and you give. It needs to know of our experiences and surprisingly replies to our feedback in ways that we have ignored - being so busy with those things instilled by our imaginations over 2000 or more years.
Oddly enough SF is coming to an end at the time when my own search has reached its end - not that I connect these factors in any way.
But I'm going to read a few good detective stories now, listen to some good music and otherwise embed myself in everyday habits without thinking I'm wasting my time.
My life experiences tell me that things aren't as they seem I'm not going to seek an explanation any longer - I'll just live.