What wonderfully sad story
Kefka.
As for Matt and his twin flame, there was a purpose. Matt has presided over this forum for all these years while alive and after he died. We are his children. But now it's time for us to grow up and to spread to the 4 corners of the world and share what we have learned here. To bring light where there is darkness, and love where there is despair.
I know in my last lifetime I commit suicide. I also remember that I was so very disappointed in myself when I got to the other side for ending my life early. I knew I would only have to come back and do it all over again.
And here I am. I've succeeded after a very bumpy road. At 67 I know, regardless of what is placed on me that I will preserver. I will make it to the end.
In this lifetime, I have felt pain like you are experiencing once in my life during the dark night of my soul back in the 1989. There was never a worse time for me. It hurt to just breathe. It seems I couldn't reach out and I was afraid to reach out for help.
I recently watched a 20 minute video on suicide. It took me back to 1989 when I was in such a dark pit of despair. This video talks about the 5 minute rule. That was my rule back then. 5 minutes at a time. That's all I could handle.
I hope you will take the time to watch this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g86hreIWfqQ&t=212s