You are very welcome.
It is my very love for the "formless" (arupa-rupa) which stops me from merging
with the "formless".
...it is the plight of every bhakta.
Even Ramakrishna preferred to "taste the sugar" and not "be the sugar".
Even Lord Hanuman refused to receive Enlightenment from Lord Rama.
Sometimes the merging happens, but I always know that two lovers can become one and yet still remain as "two lovers".
My problem is...this Kundalini energy within me isn't being channeled into anything constructive or productive...I simply do not know how to do that...As if "I" am really 'doing' or 'not doing' anything anyway...but even so,
the energy has nowhere to go, but circling round...and around...and around...destroying all my nerves in the process.
I have tried to direct it out of the crown of my head (Saharasrara Chakra) but it will not go any further than my Third Eye (Ajna Chakra)...it is stuck there. The Rudra Granthi still blocks its passage and the only way for me to break the Rudra Granthi is to accept that I AM the very thing that I LOVE...and even with all of the vishistadvaita philosophy...All the Acintya Bhedabheda Tattwa, I still cannot reconcile this.
I also do "ground myself" often...which provides very limited relief and respite..but it is only a band aid measure.
The only thing I can do...As others have suggested to me, is to bring all of the energies into my heart space (Anahata) and hope that the same Grace that put me in this predicament can also help me find a way out of it.