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Originally Posted by Ewwerrin
I always want to create a reality and then I succeed in manifesting the reality of my intention. And then... it feels fake. It feels like everything is fake... But it also makes everything feel like an illusion. Like that what is outside of me is not real. Even tho it is, but when it expands, that even tho I created it, what I created is more than what I created it to be. Infinite...
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There is no way to sugar coat this. I hate to break it to you, this is ALL an illusion, including 'you'. When you can just change it at a whim, is automatically seems so insubstantial (which it is).
[advanced] Its helpful to sit with, then stare into the face of 'Infinite'. It's a bit daunting at first but will settle your concerns. Sorry, it will still be fake but you will be less unsettled about that.
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Originally Posted by Ewwerrin
Because I find it hard to understand that I have been creating all of this. And why? Why did I also even create a reality where I don't even remember why I created it, and sometimes even forget that I am the creator of my own reality.
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Yeah, a good question for sure. I have asked about this too but haven't found any answers. One part of the problem is that the fake you is doing the asking.
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Originally Posted by Ewwerrin
Like there has to be an eternal me that knows all of it, that can help me remember all of it, but I can't find it. Like the "vortex" or "God Source". Is that what holds the true perspective of the true reality behind all of it and how and why it was all created by me and why and how. Where my true will and true real intention is. Always held in perfect vibrational escrow. Like God Source.
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Demanding an 'eternal me' is just you trying to deal with the absurdity of the situation you now realize you are in. There is a 'Source' but its you as much as anything/one. There is may not be any true intention other than hmmm, may let's do this...oops
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In a sense congratulations, you are beginning to wake up. It's not what they told you is it?