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Thanks.
There really might be no higher answer where everything is always positive and happy in the end. We're only humans, even if we're spirits too.
I keep making mistakes, whole pieces of my soul and thought process are missing. I don't want to be reduced to complete inhuman nothingness where I have no light, control, or hope and only burning...
I'm pretty sure we live in a universe where belief in things is powerful, and that's why Gods and entities fight over people's belief in them as to give themselves power. That's probably what powers "karma" too. If people believe enough in a prophecy, it comes true.
I had nightmares of the situation getting this bad... it looks like I'm permanently damaged and will never be the same. I'm in a state where my awarenesses on how to move around in my head and do things are fading, obvious answers...
Everything has gotten so unnaturally bad. I have nobody in real life (I have a family but they're not anyone I can go to anymore) and I don't know how to find someone to trust with connecting this to my real identity when they may just think I'm crazy, plus I fall apart under stress in my state (I'm falling apart anyway).
My only option at this point, that I can see, is to ask someone trustworthy and nonjudgmental to speak with me in dms and do a favour for me (which I'll have to pay you to do). Most people aren't experiencers.
I wish I could articulate better, I know finding someone to do this would be so much easier if I just wasn't so damaged in my ability to think and process.
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