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Originally Posted by lemex
This particular thought should not be part of forgiving. The reference of repentance is not about forgiveness. Is forgiving about conditions. Forgiving isn't only about one person being right and the other person being wrong. It is about healing for both. If a person asks for forgiveness would it be given if repentance weren't attached. Many people hang on to old memories and an illusion. This is the first question, are we talking about something that no longer happens where we think we can forgive. I must say I like the point made, forgiveness applies when asked and as said it is not just about accepting what is done but also was done. It is about change. Often we are talking about two conditions, not only one.
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To illustrate my point , i would take an example . If u are a shop owner and u see a poor boy shoplifting articles from your shop and he is caught red handed in camera and now u have the power to hand over him to the police, now here u can forgive the boy here if you fill genuinely
1. that boy's condition was pretty bad and he stole goods as a last resort
2. that boy genuinely feels he has done something wrong
3. that he promises not to repeat it and earn his bread by working hard
You can give him a chance and let him go scotfree . Otherwise in the absence of repentance there is no point to forgive him and not to handover him to police for further prosecution . If you let him go without ascertaining such issues , he may become more seasoned thief in future and indirectly in a small way u too may be party to it .
So as said dynamics is pretty complex. In real life it can be more complicated than this . I am all for forgiveness unconditionally . But situations may call for different treatment and forgiving here would really not heal the wrong-doer as expected by you.
In life we are not alone and every action of ours has re-actions and for which we too may responsible albeit partially in small measure .
If u have any situation /example in mind , u can share it . And probably we can come up with better rephrasing / elaboration of such situations .