Yes it has to be in her time, free will, true love. My saying that I come in too close too fast has been when people has said how do you know and even when I can't explain, think it can be intuition, or being open, something. That I have by then come in too close too fast and they are not comfy with that. I have had some really bad experience from this from a former relationship where I after that swore to never go there again. But that that is the part of being a truth teller. Not the speed of your relationship or you wanting to speed things up but I did not make that clear when I wrote I think, just figured I'd explain that.

10 years is a long time. Of course you miss her, I understand. They have studied that the bodies after having had intimate relationship has a physical grief reaction to it because the bodies don't get that it is over, that the bodies has become dependent on each other, they don't want to be rid of each other. Could too maybe explain the missing part?

If you only needed to work on yourself 10% and she the rest 90% I can sort of relate that she would have felt it was too hard and too much for her, or that she felt "Frankensteined", but could also be I see this from my own personal experiences from my marriage. Like my husband wanted me "Frankensteined" in that wanted me to be what he thought his dream woman was, no doubt, a perfectionist, weight a certain weight (not caring what I wanted to weight or what was my comfy-weight) etc. Not saying you did any of that to her, just saying that it is a terrible feeling when you don't feel good enough for someone you love being just the way you are. That sometimes we just need people to love us for who we are, despite what ever faults we have and know we have but might not even care that we have them. I for starters never wanted to be a perfectionist, and only tried to become one to get some peace in the home and to feel I measured up. In the end it turned around for me when karma hit back on him when I did not think he was good enough for me because of how he made me feel. He has worked on himself and don't do that to me no more, but I still remember that feeling and I am careful to read my own signs so I won't end up there again. He was brought up this way and it was normal to him and he was also driven by another energy force than what I was. He says he is still waiting and hoping for that missing part of me to come back to him, so damage has been made. Never mind that.

I have been told that there has been done black magic on me by someone in the past but I don't know if it was a particular ex I was thinking about having done that. To my knowing he was not religious or spiritual or both, but he somehow got fascinated with what it now he thought I had during our relationship when he had before put me through all sorts of hell before because of it. He could have had some knowing about it before we even met but then made it sound as if it was only someone else he knew that was into it, what it now was that person was into. I just know he tried to take me to places of spiritual meaning but not sure his intention were good.

(deleted a part)

I think however that some spells seem to be good prayers and in so are not manipulative in the way that some others are for my taste, that there is good magic and dark magic. Perhaps one needs to be on the other side of it to understand what it feels like, and if this is what happened to me, it would be the wrong thing to do to her and to you too. I am still in conflict what exactly did happen.

But trust me if you want her back, even just physically, than that is not the way to go. If you really love HER than it is HER you want, not her under some spell because than it ain't really her.

Also my memory has been really played with somehow, could be suppressed memories but also could be because in some circumstances of the black magic. I know all of this may sound like fiction and fear talking to some or to most, and I am like I mentioned before still in conflict about what all this means.

I am sure there is a part of her that misses you too or else she would not have been with you for 10 whole years. Perhaps if things just calm down a bit and there is enough time she will come around, hopefully. Perhaps if she knows you still love her and miss her?