Well I can't imagine why you're missing that! (Just kidding, bad joke I know). Could it too be something else besides physical I mean? That perhaps in your past while she cheated that the one she cheated with god a kind of superior position and you the inferior? And this time around you want the superior one? I don't know if it is the same guy she is with now that she cheated with before, or a new guy, but i f a new guy, or perhaps a gal who am I to know, then he is innocent, no and should not fall victim of the same hurt that you went under? But I know, I know, this is just your imagination and wish belief and that don't hurt no one, but still. Maybe just a reflection that there is yet another motive behind you would be satisfied just getting that sexual part? You don't have to answer any of this of course, perhaps I am being too intrusive and if so I apologize. Either way wishing you good healing still naturally.