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Okay article, and I get the gist of what it's saying.
But honestly I doubt what it says will be of help to people with real insecurity issues because they have been traumatised in the past and have not overcome this yet.
It is almost impossible to stay in the present and do what is suggested when deep down you are still driven by the old programs.
The way I see it, in general the biggest insecurity comes from making the partner and/or relationship the centre of your universe and not yourself. Especially women tend to do this as there's also the collective we still have to deal with. Thousands of years of women being inferior to men, subservient, not having a say.
Even women with otherwise healthy self-confidence and boundaries fall for this when it comes to a love connection. Because a love connection is oh-so important to us ---> making it the centre of our Universe.
Another thing that can make it difficult for women is that we tend to bond much faster than men.
Also, the collective wound for women is fear of abandonment, for men it's fear of commitment and losing their freedom. This goes all the way back to when we split into masc & fem.
All in all there's a lot more to it, it's plus plus plus plus.
The best way I know to become more confident in relationships is to create a healthy life for yourself. Meaning hobbies, friends, activities & interests, having things going for yourself. Such things boost your confidence, happiness, sense of Self, and self-validation etc. Making you much less reliant on a partner to buoy you up. You do it yourself!
And then it's important to not drop all those things as soon as you're in a relationship. You have to keep your own friends, hobbies etc. That way you still have your own input for happiness and so on and if the relationship falls apart / doesn't work out you still have that and aren't left empty-handed.
That way you are empowered, and able to say "no!" or even break things off when it isn't right for you, setting boundaries, and it makes it possible to be vulnerable. The latter means communicating the feminine way.
And if there's something from the past that is still hindering you you take responsibility for your issue and work on it, with a therapist/coach if need be.
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