Hi Cafedoc123
Welcome to sf
Okay you are pretty amazing and spiritual yourself.
Now let me explain something to you. If this is your wife's TF it means nothing as you are happy together. It is divine law that TF's do not come in between partnerships that are already existent unless the partnership is in chaos and crumbling and the TF is there to rescue both parties.
As for sharing TF's can't do that, it's also against the coding as each TF is directed by a higher order. The order is love. Such a thing could erode love through complication.
You have children and therefore this is where your loyalty's lie and TF relationship will never come between that. TF's are not relationship busters!!
So all in all if your relationship is good then enjoy it. If the extra person is upsetting you or odd to you or you feel that they should not be there you need to voice that. This is more about whether this is good for the two of you or not. Ask yourself what you want and be honest. It's easy to throw a TF label at something without knowing whether or not it even is one (honestly they are very rare). I would say that family is the most important thing.
Good Luck and Take Care
Akira