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Old 21-11-2020, 10:59 AM
asearcher asearcher is offline
Ascender
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 897
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by irisa
O wow, how special that you got to know so much about that life!

To me it feels like this man in your past life most of all didn´t know how to express love. He reminds me a little of my dad and how he talks to my mother. Already as a child i said to my mother that what he said in a hard way or loud tone in fact is him saying ´I love you, but i just don´t know how to express this to you...i really find this so hard to express.´

This last week i have been thinking on and of about love...real deep love, from the soul...unconditional love...I think for most people this is so hard to express or deal with...that it seems like it is easier to just ´live on the surface´ if you know what i mean.

Today i read some things on this forum about past lifes and thought about what i experienced through several dreams and (self) regression and came to a conclusion for myself. The few (possible) past lifes i remembered pieces of...in all i experienced the feeling of unconditional pure love for someone special or people in general. It didn´t matter who they were or what they did. And for some, even that agressive husband, i even ran to do everything to make their day. I just couldn´t hate him. Even after what he had done in the end...´he just wasn´t able to do things in another/better way´...

Today i suddenly ´recognized´ how i still am like that. Running for almost everyone, saying sorry for almost nothing, or even when the other is wrong and not me...it is still me saying sorry.

I just wrote some things in another section on the forum...about working in the ICU for years...and how my body now, for already 5 years, prevents me from working there any longer...I just wrote there that it feels like i have to find out right now who i am without having someone else to take care of. Looking at these few past lifes...about unconditional love...it is easy when i have someone to take care of, but right now i am somewhat alone (have friends and family) but i am struggeling with that love...mostly for myself...I think my purpose in this life to learn to find myself important as well...to really take care of myself with that unconditional love for myself...

Wow, sometimes you can have such a day where some pieces seem to fall in place.

About what you wrote about maybe someone incarnated close to me...hm, this brought a little tear in my eyes, because yes...i had this thought about my nephew. I have a niece as well and i love her as well, but have a whole other feeling about him...even sort of ´he is mine´...even while not seeing him that often.

And about them being around in spirit....a few months ago after i woke up in the morning i had a strange experience...i felt/saw how a woman left my body (out of my neck) and i instantly knew this was the woman i was in that past life...

It´s all very interesting...thanks for sharing your experiences!

Irisa
Hi Irisa, thank you for your wise words.

Why I was able to put it all together is due to many years of flashbacks, meditation and then researching and seeing where the pieces of the puzzles fit into. Other than that it would be really hard for me to see the bigger picture. Thank you for finding it interesting and not be bored out of your mind.

I have not looked at it like that before. That he had trouble expressing love, I mean. He was someone who appeared fearless but in reality I have come to think now that he had so many fears that he thought he was entitled to push me down so he could control me and keep the fears out.

It is the same with me as with you - I too try to make life easier for my loved ones. I am working on not just becoming strong and defyant when protecting others but when it is matters that concern me too. To stand up for myself. Self love, like you say.

They way your husband behaved make me think he was in a psychosis. One can get into one if one has been drinking long enough. Not sure they knew that in the day when you lived. THerefor his perception of things were very wrong indeed. He could have thought you were not who you were and that he had to save the baby from you or you would kill it, that kind of thing. He wasn't in his right mind, that's for sure. I think your love for him was for who he really was, not what took over. For you to have lived so isolated with forest near by made you and the family even more vulnerable. Too I guess he was free to drink when ever he wanted without prying eyes. Think you have come a far way by your higher self being able to show you this, that you are ready to see it even if I understand it must be extremely shocking and painful. Usually I am protected one way or the other, I feel something bad but I can't go there.

I think I was fortunate with the ex in the end as he had stopped drinking and so much time had passed and we were supporting each other instead through bad times, but forgive me - still he never did :(

I have too noticed over time several of the people in my life now has been with me in my past lives too. It is so wonderful you have this feeling too :)

Last edited by asearcher : 21-11-2020 at 05:59 PM.
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