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Originally Posted by asearcher
hi sorry for the late reply I must have totally missed it. glad she is doing better. how did you two find each other? was it over internet or are you reincarnated together in the same family, friends etc? Only curious. of course you don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it.
i have for most of my search of my recent past life - when i finally found her children for real - tried to tell myself: please look - it is alright. they are alright. they made it.
then it was the question of how she died that has puzzled me but has now been letting it go. i don't suffer from the flashbacks anymore either like i use to.
i think i am in some strange way, or imagination, subcounsious way, still conntected to the past life ex husband and I have no idea why, to tell you the truth. he was really like a shadow (ok that does not sound nice, right) over her life, the divorce was difficult (he did not want it, really and i was to get all the blame and he etc would try to make me feel guilty but he did not need to, i felt guilty already), some years there were also difficult after the divorce and then it was as if finally we found back to each other as parents, friends. I can never remember what he says in my dreams either and one part of me thinks it could really be him (because I visit him, somehow, don't ask me how, i have no idea, when he had just died - and I did not then even know he had died - found that out later, did not even know he was sick, in some spirit realm) and another part of me thinks well perhaps it is only because she was so use to having him in her life that it is an echo of memories? he would often do most of the talking anyhow during their marriage and after.
i read of your latest nightmare - do you think it is a real life ghost or a friction of memories taking place?
please take good care too :)
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Hello again, Asearcher! Oh please, don't apologise! ^_^
Well,
better is the objective - she's feeling horrible once again. She just recently was able to leave her bedroom but now is lying down again - so I'm very worried. Marie found us all via a forum most of us frequented years ago. Tatiana recognised her through her writing funnily enough - that seems to have carried over for all of us. I've even been told I still speak and write the same way. I don't really notice it but when it is pointed out to me, I do notice it. Though we've not all incarnated in the same country, family, etc - we all seem to have come back having a lot of similarities - including blood types which I find weird xD.
I'm glad that your past life's children are okay and healthy! That must be a huge relief. It was a
great relief knowing that my friend's (Alexei's sisters) were okay and alive and not harmed. Remembering the death we all had been dealt has left such a deep imprint on us all - especially Marie and I. For some reason or another, we seem to be the ones who are still tethered to that life more so than the others. I'm glad you don't suffer from flashbacks anymore!
I do have flashbacks, mostly good ones but sometimes a bad one or two, or sometimes a flood of them hits me from all sides. I have learned to sit or lay down in a quiet room or place and just shut my eyes and wait for it to pass.
It's interesting that you feel you are still connected to your past-life husband. I think when we've lived a past life or past lives, we still have some or even a major connection to someone we knew in that life-time. They really never "go away" so-to-speak. They are always there. Alexei's parents are a prime example of this. I know I'm still connected to Mama and Papa. I miss them terribly each and every day. I've met a few contenders who could have possibly been them - I sometimes think that I just want them back so badly that I'll settle for whomever and that's not healthy. I'm still learning and growing. I still at times feel like that 13 year-old boy who is still in the cellar room where I died.
It seems you are still tethered to your past-life ex-husband for a reason? I hope you are able to pin-point why. <3
Well, the nightmare was... it was definitely something. The woman who in the dream was dressed as Tatiana is a claimant who claims she is Tatiana reincarnated. I've never really had a conversation with her but she has a reputation for being nasty to other people who claim to be Romanov children reincarnated. There's a social media campaign to show her up for the bully she is -
I want no part of it. At all. I have my sisters (and even if I wasn't Alexei? I have four lovely women whom are my greatest, truest friends). And this is what matters at the end of the day. I used to be very naïve and I still am in a way - and I'm also still very trusting of everyone. I always see the positive and good in everybody - never the bad. But I'm still growing, so that's important to remember. We are all still growing.
Alexei was very trusting of many people. It was just before the end that he confided with Claudia Bitner. She was a former teacher, turned nurse who came to Tobolsk to help give lessons to him and the girls (OTMA) as education was still very much valued even in exile. Mama and Papa even gave lessons. Claudia was a sweet-natured, patient woman. I remember telling her that many people had lied to me. She was one of the few people I could really talk to outside of my family, and the servants who had been sharing the difficult times with us. I felt I could confide in her very much. When I learned that she died, long after we did (in this life), it made me so angry. Why kill someone for just helping us? She was an innocent human being. So many people died just by being connected to us. Servants, courtiers. I cannot comprehend why they had to die. They had families and friends just like we did. They were human beings. Just because of loyalty? It's not fair that they had to suffer. They did nothing wrong.
I should stop myself, because now I'm getting over wrought and emotional. I get like this when I think of the people who were so loyal to us and went with us into exile. Some survived, and a great many perished because of their loyalty. I'll never understand it. It's too painful to think about even.
Anyways... I should eat some breakfast. I think eating will help. Thanks for replying dear, and I hope you are able to figure out the connection more so with your past-life ex-husband. <3
