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Suffering only takes place in our mind; it is a reaction to pain or struggles, real or perceived. I have talked with military people who were prisoners of war, and they survived by letting their mind be free of what was happening to them.
Victor Frankl who established Existentialism as a philosophy, was held in a concentration camp during World War II, that was when he developed his thesis on "man's search for meaning." Anne Frank was someone else who remained optimistic while facing tremendous suffering during World War ii.
I began to notice children during the Vietnam War who lived in abject poverty and barely had food to eat, yet it amazed me how those children played with each other and often laughed while suffering and surrounded by suffering. I saw the same thing in the middle east during time of war. Yes, it effected them but they did not suffer too much over their suffering.
Some people are just more resilient than others. Suffering in my opinion is a mental choice; most suffering is similar to grieving. We grieve the loss of our comforts, loved ones, threats to ourselves or our security, etc. Some people grieve longer than others. There is no appropriate length or period of time, although I have found some very deep and profound lessons in my own suffering.
Most people do not learn unless they experience pain, and some still don't learn even with pain. The human ability to adapt is tremendous. There is no right or wrong in this. It is just what we identify with. Some people can tolerate pain more than others and all people do not suffer over the same thing. Suffering can be cathartic and it can be used as a tool to help us understand ourselves. Suffering has a tendency to push us below the surface into places where we would rather not be, or have avoided.
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