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Considerations Thirteen …
I’m offended ! !
It takes little observation to notice how the use of the words “I’m offended !” has taken over the world. It’s as if … it’s someone else’s fault that they are themselves offended. And how handy it is that someone else has to change *their* behavior so the offended person doesn’t even have to consider the validity of their offense. It’s *your* fault that *I* react the way I do.
Um … no.
It’s not up to someone else to cater to your personal preferences. That’s like telling LIFE … “Do everything the way *I* want it done. LIFE … you must do things *my* way.”
Doesn’t work … but it’s a great political and social attack. Obviously … it works … to control others and give power over others.
So if you want to get a better understanding of just where you are in your perceptions of the world … use the journal … and keep track of what offends you. Do this quietly … as a personal ongoing observation. Use your journal … because our memories are not geared anymore to keeping track over a long time period … and many of the things that slightly offend you may not be apparent until you notice that the particular offense seems to crop up with great regulatory. You then might want to consider it as of value to perhaps do something about it.
You might want to cut yourself some slack and ease up on the rather small things that offend you. Maybe you don’t like a particular color of clothing or the foods offered in a restaurant. Try to find the ones that really set you off … not in a frenzy of anger … but really stirs your emotions. This is an individual task so you’ll have to cater to yourself and your own design of this practice.
On old saying … and this is really the basis of this entire technique … The quickest way back to God is to take care of your daily affairs.
It is through our ongoing interactions that show us our lack of temperament, or lack of stamina or patience or forgiveness or whatever. I am not the one who likes to even discuss … lack … but one has to become aware of them before s/he can do anything about them.
Therefore … do all this as objectively, as quietly, as kindly as possible. This is your own ongoing endeavor. It need not be told to anyone. Anger and frustration blinds. This is why it’s nice to just jot down a note or two, get it into your journal … and then see if there is another joining puzzle piece that will come along later and begin to form a pattern. Stay objective. Pretend it’s someone else that’s doing it to help keep your personal involvement at a tolerable but do not release responsibility for it to someone else or to some other factor. It might be embarrassing … but no one else needs to know as you wrestle with these issues inwardly.
You can also use your journal to write out responses to these issues. It often helps to “get it out” of your system. To do that in a journal is perfect.
If you do this on a computer or your phone … and it’s all recorded stuff … make sure it’s locked … or highly safeguarded.
After you get your journal going a bit and you begin to make entries such as these … you begin to get a real glimpse of issues you need to somewhat resolve to grow in overall perspective.
Try to be rather categorical in your assessments. If the same issue offends you in a number of ways … it might be that specific issue that offends … or … it might be that specific issue that brings out a number of offensive viewpoints … and you should try to be aware of them as separate issues or as a grouping … or maybe both. That is for you to determine.
Now … are you going to want to try and spot every little thing that raises your blood pressure by one point? Maybe … if you want to drive yourself crazy. Go easy on yourself … but the task is a valid and useful one. Don’t go overboard on this. If you go out of your way to try and spot EVERY-thing … you’ll drive yourself crazy … or … you will enhance dissatisfaction with yourself. That is *not* what this is all about. This is to inform … not to critique.
No one is asking you to be a saint … but it is unwise to allow the rather mundane issues throw you for a loop. If you find an offensive issue that really sets you off … remember that one. Don’t try to work on it right then … we’ll discuss how to deal with them later. Make a note of it … put it in your journal … and set it aside. That in itself is a good practice. Approach it on a rather neutral time. This helps in being a bit objective about it all.
Start slow … start small … start gently … become aware.
More later.
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