On the other side, you start to understand things... and you can forgive because you can understand. It's not the same as here. Here, people swim in ignorance and confusion and as a result get their feelings hurt all the time even when no one meant them any harm.

One example, there was this movie: two people really loved each other. Then they decided to give gifts for each other, but did not have money. They wanted to surprise each other with gifts so started to lie to each other about where and how they were spending their time. Then they got very hurt feelings (when one of them learned that the other was lying).

So they tried to do something good, but did it badly. And were hurt. They thought they were hurting each other when they were actually doing something nice to each other.

My point is not that abusive people are being nice, but that we don't understand why they did it. Once you understand, you can forgive. PLUS, those people will feel remorse. And usually, it's much easier to forgive someone who feels pure remorse. You're going to feel a different perspective and will feel like loving is much easier THERE than holding a grudge. Good feelings are natural and like swimming with the current. Negative feelings are not natural and like swimming against the current.

PLUS, you don't have to live with your family if you don't want to. Just because these people were together in one lifetime doesn't mean they are destined to be together forever. There is a different kind of a family over there...