[New Guy]

Hi,

I am new to this forum and new to meditation. I have tried mediation at various times in my life and have struggled to quiet my mind enough to “get into it”.

About 1 month ago I stumbled onto Wim Hof breathing exercises and wondered what it was like, so gave it a go for no reason other than curiosity. I unexpectedly found it helped me to relax very deeply, and as an unintended consequence I felt compelled to meditate afterward given the calm state I experienced. I have continued to use these breathing exercises to get mentally and physically into a calm, quiet state followed by meditation for 10-20 minutes, depending on when I naturally feel ready to discontinue meditating.

In the past month I have had 2 experiences I can’t quite understand or explain and wanted to seek advice. The first experience occurred two weeks ago, when during meditation my left leg and left arm twitched quite noticeably, followed by what I would describe as a full body twitch/spasm. I felt very emotional early on in this meditation and I experienced or ‘witnessed’ internally, what I can only describe as light. It was Like a vision of a white silhouette of myself or perhaps someone else, meditating, made up of and consumed by light (sounds weird I know), and I briefly ‘understood’ everything, how we are all connected, it made sense.

It only lasted a second or two before I became ‘aware’ of the experience and started thinking as opposed to observing without thinking, and as soon as I did that it was gone. This happened twice in a short space of time and I ‘understood’ but I no longer remember what I understood, I remember the words to describe the experience but not the feeling or the knowledge it brought.

The second experience was one week ago, when my right arm and then my neck twitched during meditation. I felt a sensation of being loved and remembered what it was like to feel loved by my mum (who passed away many years ago, when I was a teenager). The experience made me smile and lasted only a moment, then my mind drifted and I jolted upright. Things seemed suddenly ‘clearer’, ‘lighter’ but Then it faded and I came out of my meditation unexpectedly, jolted into full consciousness.

Since the second experience I have felt very tired and drained, with mild headaches and somewhat irritable. Of course I may just be unwell but I ceased meditating to try and recover.

I would be grateful if anyone thinks the above makes sense, or can make sense of it for me, or can give me any guidance around these experiences or how I should proceed?

many thanks