[Supersteel]

Maybe a rant. Alot of anger and hate pent up over months
Im not religous anymore. We were in our family. I went to a yeshiva when i was small and then to a jewish day school in riverdale ny

I now live in israel. Worst mistake in my life to move here.

I have been going through a lot of hardships as of late. What seems to be very bad coincidences and very bad luck. A grey cloud that follows me. All together whixh just seems like winning the lotto would be better odds

All day everyday I cirse at god. I wish I could disconnect myself from hating "him" moving to atheism but I cant get this built up hate I have for him. I cant stop myself. I cry from hysteria at times as it seems to unreasonable bomabrded with bad luck all the time and its a bad cycle.
What can one offer me suggestions wise to disconnect my thought from god and judiasm together. Throw ideas at me to do this please

Please suggest only what I need help with please