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Originally Posted by Angnix
The felony thing I know way too much about that story... It's serious enough that he can't move in with me unless his name is cleared. There is only a 3 year age gap (we both are in our 30's). We buy each other presents... In fact he gives me more things than I give him and he's even paying for my cable TV right now... He currently lives with my uncle, in fact my uncle's girlfriend died around the time my husband did and her son, this man,moved in with my uncle afterwards. I did live with them for awhile but my uncle is toxic and I left... He calls me his "cousin" (we are connected because his uncle, when he was alive, use to be married to my aunt) but many people and I agree consider that a poor excuse because he's not a "blood" relative... So there are things going on that are weird.
Oh, and he specifically mentioned he thinks kissing isn't moral before marriage, but I can't figure out his limits cause I guess he doesn't consider tickling and back rubbing a moral? Also he jokes about sex often in a very crude way which is odd for someone who claims to have those restrictions...
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Hi! Yep, knew there was something weird, dependency about his living arrangements.
even if he is in his 30s does he give away a kind of old feeling to him? does he wear strict clothing? old guy's pants? like he wants to pass as if he is clean and in order and so on? think this is how he wants to represent himself but there is something fishy about him.
do not, and i repeat, let him move in with you. you might never get him out. do not give him your key. if he is paying for your tv-programs could it be it is because of football seasons, sport so he can watch that? for him paying for it - does he want anything in return? give him a chance to just drop by if he feels like it? guard your home. please. in the future pay for your own stuff. don't let him pay for anything.
could be as long as you are his so called cousin or friend that he is free to have hopes in another relationship, he is still not doing something wrong, yes? because you two are just cousins, friends.
it is my experience that people that often crack all kind of sex jokes have a very poor love life. that seem to fit him. he also seem to then think he can appear tough when it comes to this. but there is a vulnerability about it.
he might be paying for things now but i fear that is just part of his pre-charm and that this will change. this will give you the illusion you can trust him.
he wants different settings, brand for your relationship than you want. you have clearly told him what you want but he still stand firm in his position. in your will you have also explained why you want the relationship like that but still he wants you for a cousin or friend. that then means that he is doing the shots, he is the boss, and you are under his thumb. i would not accept that because in the long run he is playing you. even if he is nice and so and so. playing you, honey. give confusing messages. you holding your breath hoping it will change. no, no no.
what comes of as a bit dangerous is his dependent relationship with your uncle and him having nestled, twirled his way in like this.
frankly for any guy in their 30's to claim religion is behind his reason for not having you as a girlfriend and for not kissing you is baloney. you have to realize this. there is something weird about him.
i fear the only thing you have heard too much about - his felony - is from his perspective and i bet it has many, many details in it, as if details will tell you it is true.
please forgive me going on about this - but please, watch out.
if i were you i would not even confront him about this because he has already made things very clear by wanting you as a cousin and friend. i would simply start to join a dating firm and i would start to go out. give you other horizons and people who are willing to not see you as a friend or as a cousin but as a potential girlfriend. i think you should boost yourself up with confidence. who does he think he is? i cant stand it when so called good person think everyone will think he, she is good just because they claim to be religious. it is such bull.... what he is doing to you is not good.
take good care, honey. you need a better man if you don't wanna be single that is :)