Quote:
|
Originally Posted by inavalan
Forgive those people who have caused harm in your life. Forgiveness, however, is a misunderstood concept. Thanks to self-help and new age movements, it is often thought to be about accepting what has happened to you. No. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you need to accept what a person has done to you. It just means that you are not willing to carry the emotional burden caused by that person anymore.
Even realizing this, there are some people who are not willing to forgive people in their lives. But think of it this way: you are only doing this to yourself. By constantly thinking about revenge and what that person did to you, those people have already won. In reality, the best revenge is indifference. You just don’t allow these people to continue to hurt you or make any difference in your life.
|
I feel that there is a bit of a misunderstanding in regards to “forgiving” someone.
I relate to it not saying that the wrong/hurt/ whatever may have been done or inflicted is OK, but releasing myself from the pain and control the other may have tried to have over me.
I agree it is releasing oneself from carrying the burden or emotions connected to the offense.
There is still the responsibility of the other who may have or had committed the offense/hurt/damage to make amends or show some sort of acknowledgement and responsibility, IMO.
This may not mean that it is all right or justified. Means there is a recognition and respect there. Also doesn’t mean it will be forgotten or there will be trust towards the person. Just that I no longer give the person power over me and it is on them (so to speak).
It is tricky and emotions are a strong force. For me it is redirecting the emotions and placing experiences in their proper context.
Sure, some things in my book cause mistrust, but I don’t need to continue to punish myself by carrying the pain caused. To find ways to heal the pain and learn that those people are not to be trusted.
Doesn’t mean it is forgotten, but take it as lessons learned, IMO.