Well I am going to continue on my monologue thread here, ha ha.

Talked to my husband

Realized before doing so that I am up to my old habits which is to ponder about it for days and to then look for reassurance or other opinions before actually me bringing it up with him.
All good :)

I am thinking I finally understand why me and my soulmate/my husband got together. Perhaps for me to start to recognize my own emotions, perspective and communicate it right. And he too to have grown from his defense-mechanism and communicate in a healthy way to me too.