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@inavalan - When you lay it all out like that it makes sense. It fits with our normal waking/living experience of time as something that flows, with us stuck to the now point. In this other "space" I'm experiencing time is completely different. It doesn't flow at all. Now is past/present/future all-in-one. It's constantly moving/changing yet perfectly still. In fact, everything there seems like paradoxes. I only get glimpses of it awake however. My mind can't take it in, and I bounce out. If I "stand outside and stare at it" I can't talk. I mean physically - I can't. Can't even think with words. If I back off a little I can talk again, but I contradict everything I say and don't make any sense. So I call it the land of Zen Koans as a little private joke.
I wouldn't even bring up the time stuff but I've been running into it exploring my memories. When I connect deeply with past versions of myself, feeling what I felt, remembering what I remembered then, the Zen Koan talk starts appearing. That tells me I'm close - time's beginning to fall apart - but I've no idea why or what it all means. I'm just a lone explorer, finding my way. Eventually I got "told" to back off for a while, so I did and ended up here on SF.
And I do indeed let my "inner-guides" lead me. I'd be lost without them.
Thanks so much for talking with me about this. I really appreciate it. I find it fascinating and desperately want to share my experiences. Only problem is it's so hard to talk about something that makes no sense. I think it's my need to understand - to make sense of things - that's blocking me - so I just need to shut that off. I can do that sleeping, but not awake, so I'm working on that.
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