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I have what my family calls han solo luck. we're constantly coming quite close to life ending destruction through pure dumb luck that we have no control over. Its exhausting but I think theres a reason for it. Sometimes bad luck or any sequence of events is a means to an end. Often times the reason I can get away safely is because Ive been doing it my whole life. Nothing surprises me, I never panic and Ive got tons of experience. My mother was horrible to me as a child, as an escape I read a LOT of books and as a result Im quite intelligent. Maybe your whole string of bad luck is training for one important incident that its imperative you handle properly.
I don't feel too down about it because I dont consider 'human' a primary state of being for me. Im quite bad at it, Im not fond of other ppl usually and I look forward to being done with it but I have a job to do. I always felt that I had a specific mission and only formulated a theory about what it was a couple of years ago whn I gave birth to a little god. Never wanted kids but it turns out that being a mom is the only thing I have ever been this good at. I know he's important, I keep him safe and happy and the god hes named after does the same. Its a good job and perhaps I was the best 'person' for it.
Nobody enjoys intense training but life as a human isnt good for much else imho. Try to focus on the end game lol
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