(Sigh...) I guess I have mistaken the terms and I'm sorry for that, you are absolutely right. I have already changed my previous post to another section
Well, actually I have already visited a Spiritualist Church, in order to overcome the pain of my grief for the loss of two very close family members, and a major depression for events occurring in my life at the moment like serious health problems, end of a very significant relationship and other circumstances. I have heard of people from my circle of friends that were proven by means of mediumship that death is not the end at all. And, if that idea comforted me for a while in relation to my beloved ones, one of them being very young, it also left me anxious in some way, thinking if they have been able to find their "way to the Light" somehow, if they were in peace... (One of them didn't have spiritual/religious beliefs at all, and I was afraid that they just couldn't find their path and somehow have been lost forever, if that is possible anyway).
So I decided to take the chance and went to a Spiritualist Church, hoping for comfort and friendly support, and maybe some words or signs for one of my beloved ones. But instead of that, I was told I was being watched by my grand-grandmother, which I didn't even know at all, and that the answers I was looking for were not supposed to be given to me in that time. And though the woman who was "channelling" was not very specific towards it, it made some sense at that time since I was wondering about questions like if what I was going through was supposed to happen to me in terms of predestination, if I could avoid pain somehow, why I couldn't just stablish a harmonious relationship to a person I loved very much and who I was painfully missing at a moment like that... But the most touching and important moment was when the woman told me
"You shall not kill yourself, since that is not what you truly believe; you are just lost in your way, but already are in your way, so this shall not last forever. That's all you need to know for now". And IT MADE SENSE AT ALL, because I was actually thinking about suicide (which I would never consider presently, but I was very depressed and ill at the time). So, I may have not had the answers I was waiting for, because maybe I have to find them on my own, but I don't believe that what she said may have been only a coincidence.
It was not an exactly spectacular experience, like others I have heard of, but it gave me some insight at a moment I felt nothing in my life made sense, I saw only pain and suffer around and joy seemed to happen only in other people's life. I was taught to be strong, faithful and patient. And, sometimes, life is not only about excitement and blessings, and we have to learn somehow to accept loss and change, even when we are not expecting or we don't want to.
"Everything will be ok in the end", I was told by a friend, "
and if it is not ok right now, it has just not finished yet". I was obsessed with understanding what was happening in my life, and I have learned that some things are not supposed to be understood at the moment and we should just live it the best we can, instead of becoming scared and faithless.
I think of coming back to A Spiritualist Church, since I consider I have reached another path in my journey, in practical and also spiritual terms. My Grand Mother used to go to that same Church when she was younger and maybe because I associate it to her, I feel it is "safe, friendly and natural" somehow. I am just not sure about Spiritualism's links to Christianity since I feel more connected to Eastern religions, but that is something with doesn't worry much. The most important to me is a fuller understanding of the purpose of life and death and live a life full of Love and Enlightenment, and everyone and everything that helps me on that is welcome.
I appologize for my mistake once more, I guess that's why they call us "newbies"
I appreciate your kindness.
Blessings,
Leah
