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Healing myself
Hello,
Over the last few years my anxiety and fears about so many things have increased, to the point I am constantly catastrophizing and ruminating, mostly about past mistakes. I feel like this is trauma and its paralysing. And this is stopping me from doing things, achieving things, it’s like all my hopes and dreams for the future are impossible now as I don’t believe in myself at all and feel that I will fail at anything I do. I think all of this has generated a depression that I fear I will never shake.
I do live with an elderly narcissistic parent who is only is interested in her feelings and thoughts and every one else does not matter, especially me. I feel they are an energy vampire and I emotionally I don’t feel safe around them. I don’t know if that further compounds all my other feelings of anxiety and fear.
It hasn’t always been like this. In the past I could help myself, fix myself if I needed to, I had greater self belief, I trusted my intuition. I could rely on myself. But now every time I try to help myself, to heal myself, every thing seems to get worse. Every time I resolve to get better and stronger something new comes up and tears me down deeper into fear and helplessness.
I am going to go the doctor, of course, but how else can I help myself? I feel like I am drowning in dark and bad energy, fighting against something that seems to always win. I just want to be a better and confident human being. I want to be the best parent I can be. I want to be of service to others. I want to do good. What else can I do to help myself? What kind of energy work could help unblock and release whatever this darkness is?
Many thanks.
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