My second set of parents are the only people with whom I really engage. Perhaps also with some family friends and my soul mate. Others are pretty superficial.

I can give the appearance of sociability but I know myself as a loner and perfectly happy about that.

Now, approaching 40 I have difficulty forming relationships - I think basically because I don't want to have to adjust. It does seem to pose problems the older one gets!
Perhaps it's more that people have difficulty with me. Until a few years ago relationships were basically transactions that had a limited lifespan. But as I sought something more permanent I ran into trouble. I've had a b/f for a couple of years and things were going fine until his hint that we should move in together became an expectation. A few weeks ago he asked me why I wasn't ready to sell my flat (as with space available there's no hope of him moving in with me). I shrugged it off but later he asked me 'when' and it turned me off just like that. Which means the end is in sight. I give it another week. He knows it too.

We've been great while keeping our independence but I can foresee all kinds of problems living under the same roof.... well, that's what it would be - living under the same roof rather than being a couple. I need time and space to do my work.

So it's really a matter of what you feel you can put up with. In later years I might regret not making a better effort right now. I think you have to weigh that up. Neither of us is unique in this. But I feel it's better to be honest with oneself than, say, crave a relationship as a rite of passage and have to do a lot of work to maintain it. Why should one? Best just to stay amenable.

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