Originally Posted by Rah nam
There is no way or path without friction
Resistance towards Allowance is a surefire way to ensure its realisation. The universe does not hear the word "no." So if I keep saying no to good things, maybe there will be more good things in my life.
No, I don't wanna feel love! I don't want God to think that I am happy about all of this. I don't want God to think that I appreciate God. I don't want God to see my love for all. I don't want to appreciate anything! I don't wanna enjoy anything. I don't wanna feel good. I don't want this good feeling to enter within me or manifest in anyway in my experience. I have to remain dilligent and look out for any possible joy that might possibly wish to manifest itself within my experience and do my absolute best to avoid it and block it. And if joy happens, I have to resist it! As best as I possibly can!
Oh no, there goes one who is trying to serve unto me love and compassion and care! Quickly, build walls. I hate these happy people. I hate how they so enjoy life... I hate that they have faith in little things and big things. And hope in their weird desires. I don't understand what they want and why they want it. I hate their virginity! I hate their purity and innocence and weakness and fragility! I hate hate HATE IT! I DONT WANT THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE! I dont wanna become innocent like them. I hate all aspects of myself that are innocent and pure and loving and kind and sweet. Ugh, I hope all these happy people go away. I dont wanna be pure love. The happy people should be removed from this planet. We should join an organization called the anti-happiness movement. We should find every happy person on the planet and ask them to stop being so happy. But especially prioritize those pure appreciators. ugh, no! I dont want them to appreciate anything! I want them to not even speak about their appreciation of anything and why they appreciate and how they are even able to genuinly appreciate anything at all. That should not even be possible! People should not even be able to appreciate something. I dont even wanna know how they are even able to do tbat. How is that even possible? How are they even physically able to feel true genuin appreciation for anything? Why are THEY able to experience benefit and see value in and of something?! No! They should not see those values! They should stop seeing and looking at all the positive aspects of everything. And I should also stop looking at the benefit of every single little thing that exists. I should also stop appreciating every single little thing that exists and can possibly exist or will forevermore continue to be and become unlike it has ever been like unto it again and again and again. This constant AWE of every thing that exists should STOP! Emmediately. NO! Do not show me the benefit of THIS. I repeat! DO NOT SHOW ME THE BENEFIT OF THIS! I DONT WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT! I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO TELL ME HOW EVERYTHING I SAY AND DO MAKES THEM HAPPY. GO AWAY! GOOOO AWAAAY! STOP LOVING ME ALL THE FREAKING TIME! STOP SEE THE VALUES OF THAT WHICH I AM. DONT LOOK AT ME! I KNOW I LOOK GOOD BUT DONT TELL ME THAT I LOOK GOOD. I DONT WANNA BE REMINDED OF WHO I TRUELY AM AND HOW GOOD I TRUELY AM. I DONT WANNA REMEMBER MY TRUE NATURE OF BEING! Just leave me alone! NO! STOP! DONT MAKE THE SUN AND STARS SHINE JUST FOR ME. MAKE IT STOP! SOMEONE TELL GOD TO STOP LOVING ME! Stop goving me oxigen for free all of the time. Whatever you do, just don't EVER NEVER EVER NEVER EVER! DONT EVER Love me Unconditionally...
Oh no,... You did not just do that! NO! YOU CANNOT DO THAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP IT! THAT IS NOT EVEN POSSIBLE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! STOP IT! STOP BEING SO KIND TO ME. DONT MAKE ME HAPPY. You are giving me weird feelings. What is this inside of me? Is that happiness? WHY IS IT CONSTANTLY TRYING TO COME OUT ME AND PLAY?! LEAVE ME ALONE HAPPINESS! I DONT WANNA BE HAPPY, GO AWAY! look, I dont got time for happiness right now ok? Not right now. You can make me happy any time of the day, BUT NOT RIGHT NOW. NO. I AM NOT GOING TO FORGIVE EVER! NO! I will never forgive you and dont inspire me to do it. no, dont tell me of all the benefits of forgiveness. I will never forgive. Honestly, you can make me happy, but I will NEVER forgive you. I WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO IS REMAINING IN CONTROL. I GOT THE KEY AND I WILL NEVER USE IT. NO. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND LET GO OF MY RESISTANCE. IT IS MINE! I CREATED THIS JUDGEMENT. I AM THE ALL POWERFOOL! HAHa! I will never even forgive you because you are free from all blame anyway! Hah! what? Oh no! NO STOP I DID NOT MEAN THAT! NO YOU ARE NOT FREE FROM ALL BLAME FOREVER! Jesus Christ... Ok... You freakin win. Whatever. I will be happy. Whatever! Just leave me alone. It's not my fault that I am happy now... It's your fault! You made me HAPPY! YES. you can make me happy. That is how good and capable and powerful and valuable you are. You are so infinitely good and pure that you can make me happy. This should not even be possible. I hate it... You should not have the power to make me happy, but you simply inspire this joy to rise from within me. I dont know why I feel happy when I look at you. I dont even wanna look at you. Everywhere I look, there you are! Like how much do you freaking love me? You have embraced me in a big infinite ocean of pure bliss! WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?! DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THAT? Because if I did, I don't wanna be reminded of that. Don't tell me. No! Don't remind me of what I asked for! I dont wanna know what I want. Do not open my eyes... Stop it! You're making me happy! Stop! Stop reminding me of all the things that I have always wanted to be, do and have!