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Whereever this thing came from, it got to the US long before we were told it was officially here. I had it in December and shared it with my 26 year old son, who had it almost worse than I had. We have never been so sick in our lives. I stopped smoking (this said from one who has smoked through bronchitis before) for two weeks because I decided I wanted to breathe more than I wanted to smoke. My son recovered fully, but was very ill for 2 weeks. I recovered much more slowly, and still have bouts of shortness of breath, which come out of nowhere at me. Sometimes I have an irregular heartbeat. Smells are different and I'm adjusting to the fact that some things now smell different to me.
Am I happy to be here and be alive? You bet! Do I care who caused this thing? We'll never know. Do I believe the government has manipulated us all into staying home? I think that is the question that we all struggle with.
Who want to be the one to stand up and say the economy means more than peoples lives? No one. But there needs to be some perspective about it, because it appears it will not be going away any time soon.
People have to be able to feed their families, and governments should allow them to do so.
People die from the flu every year, but I don't want to be the one to give it to them either. So I take precautions, as much as I can. I put on a mask when I have to, but I rarely have to as I am fairly isolated. I go to work, and stay away from the people that work there and visa versa, as much as possible.
The hardest thing for me going back to work in an office was the paperwork. I deal with papers every day. From other co-workers, from a shared copy machine, from the mail that I sort, from the mail that gets sorted to me. It took me a few weeks to realize that I can only do the best that I can do. I can't wear gloves, because as soon as I touch something, they are contamenated and I have to put on new ones (I tried that for a few days and drove myself crazy). So I wash my hands as much as possible, disinfect all work surfaces as much as possible, use hand santizer as much as possible. Use a paper towel to touch doorknobs going in and out, and bathroom doorknobs. Paper towels are a blessing. They take the place of gloves and hand sanitizers.
But I have to work to feed my family. And I can't be ashamed of it. And I can't wear a mask because I can't breathe through one, so I limit my exposure to other people as best I can, them from me, me from them. I don't want me to be the cause of anyone getting this thing.
I haven't seen my daughters for over five months, or my granddaughter. I won't see them for over a year because they are pregnant (just found out) and not willing to see us because some in our household went back to work and they don't want to take any chances. That is their right. I have only seen my elderly mother once since this started, and she lives five minutes away from me, but I don't want to get her sick because I went back to work and she lives with my neice who is immuno-suppressed. My aunt passed away (from old age - she lived to be 97) but it was hard on all of us. I didn't get to go to the funeral. I watched it on my computer.
I am sad for all that has happened to each and every one of us. I can't help thinking someone was behind all of this, or using it to their advantage, but it doesn't matter one way or the other. We are all in this together. This has united the world in a way we never could have imagined or would have wanted to happen.
The best thing I can do is realize that I have to find my happiness where I can get it. I don't watch the news. I see my family via Zoom meetings and we are slowly getting better at them. We are all alive and I am very thankful and grateful for that and for the family I can see and interact with.
It is all well and good to say it is all a hoax or we are being controlled. However, the virus is not a hoax, it is very real and like something no one has ever seen before. The symptoms I had are not the symptoms that people are getting now. I pray that I can't get it again, but I don't worry about it anymore.
I refuse to live in fear. I am living the best life I can right now, and that is all I can do. If the illuminati comes to get me, at least I'll be happy about it, because that is where I am trying to get to.
We can stay divided on this, or not. I just participated in the great no-win Presidential Election of all time. And you know what? I came to the conclusion that I don't care who wins. It is a win-win for me. I put it in perspective, for myself.
If one party wins, then we finally get some help. If the other party wins, then we finally get some help. People need to get back to work, they need extended unemployment if they lost their job and don't have one to go back to. Whoever wins will make sure that happens. Am I bitter? Yeah, I'm trying to work on it. Because they all decided they would hold up the help until the election, and they decided that months ago and it became this political monster. So, no help for months. In most of the States. You don't hear about that on the news. You don't hear about a lot of what is happening on the news. Imagine that. So I'm happy with either one. I just hope it doesn't take them another two months to figure out which one.
So I live my life in gratitude that I still have my job and my family still have jobs and we are all healthy finally and we all have roofs over our heads. There are so many people that don't have that anymore that make this type of conversation superfluous.
We all gotta help each other, because if we don't, who will? The only way I know to help someone else is to feel good myself, then I can give to them my overflow, my upbeatness, my sunshine on a rainy day. That's what I feel we can all give.
So many out there need some hope. We can all give a bit of hope and help and laughter. It's hard to get there, but I am trying my best and I feel like I have helped, and I can do more.
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