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The card and then the actual lighting, interesting synchronicity. Every time your ex thinks of you, he creates a cord attachment between you. I would hazard a guess that you two have some unresolved issues together that have been carried on into this life. I would pursue finding out what those issues are so you could finally break the connection between you. You seem to want to move on and have realized that he's not good for you (your words) and you want to break free.
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