hi Astites!

It was not too long a post at all =) Maybe the lightening means wake up! For you too to rethink your life and your choices and your future? Or maybe the future unknown to you now will later on reveal the lightening story.

As for the guy he does not sound as if he has considered your feelings too much in all this. It sounds as if he has some kind of intimacy issue and by that I dont mean in bed but verbally. Like he wants to be close but he can't. I'm sure after all that time that you two were involved that he has feelings for you, parts of himself, parts of you that will never go away.

I recognise the entire connection of feeling when the other one is going to contact you and so forth. He could very well be a part of your soulgroup, but it's complicated.

I have myself really tried to understand why I have been so blessed in life to have close friendship and why things generally move in the direction that I get along well with people and people like me. This said I have had a complicated love life. What I can say about these different energies or personality types is that there is that "click", that attraction and as you say an electric sensation. Opposites attract.

To me when you describe he came back it is as if he does this on his terms, has he asked what you wanted? How your life is going? What he can provide with? He says he loves you yet he can't give you something of value beyond that electric sensation which covers some areas, I admit, but far from all to have that safety and have that intimacy, both mentally, spiritually and physically, tenderly. This is all he can give. Is it enough for you? No.

I watched a documentary not so long ago and it was this female going to a lawyer and the lawyer said "You have to cut out the cancer" and he meant a person in this female's life, and that sentence has stayed with me. When we don't do nothing, or we don't push back hard enough a person who symbolise the cancer will continue to poison and grow this poision in your life, in your body even.

You deserve to have it all with someone who is cabable within himself to give you his all and that will then come natural to him, not this struggle, not this forth and back, to give and then take back. I am sure this way creates an intense kind of feeling and that too can be a fire in the sexual preferences but it isn't the real kind.

With some people you have to teach them to treat you right, to back off, because they don't know any better, unfortunately. I have too much patience sometimes but am stubborn too and so I have learned lately to just make my boundries be clear more early on and not try to wait in the other person to get it.

I am sure he wants information about your life and I am sure he will continue to do this "pop in" and "pop out" thing. From his perspective I believe it is about control and entitlement.

Once you made the decision don't share information about your life. Just be neutral. Short. If any. If not, just silence. He doesn't make the rules anymore. Once he figured that out he will be having a period of being more intrusive but then just keep sticking to your plan til you bore him out. He can play friendly. Smile. Laugh. What is the big deal? can't you just be civil? Just go along? You don't own him anything to answer any of his questions, to be in any communication with him once you made the decision. Then he will loose that part of power that I think he has over you. Then I am sure you will become a "new" person and he will be more attracted to you and he will most likely first start out vaguely to then go all the way and say he loves you very much, but will his action truly change? Is he the guy that is cabable to give you his all? I don't think he will change. A guy who goes off to have a crises and find someone so much younger just speaks for itself really. I think he is underdeveloped in emotional intelligence and he has no real way of thinking deeply and about other people's feelings if it is not to use these other people's feelings to his advantage, sorry to be so blunt. For the rest of his life he is likely to just be on the surface of things and if he was to talk deeply, intimately about things I think he has copied them from a normal developed man, really. Does it sound like an echo when he does his sentences? Like there is no genuine depht there? Does he talk to impress others? To make it look like he has thoughts and he has principles he doesn't really have? again you don't answer me, I just think I recognise this type you are describing, that's all.

Rebirth can be about you deciding when are you going to give him his last chance? Has it not gone already? Isn't the time up? Time up for rebirth? For you?