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Old 19-07-2021, 12:25 AM
AStites AStites is offline
Newbie ;)
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 24
 
All these questions are appreciated and very loaded. Our entire relationship was very electric, which is why the lightning holds even more synchronicity. We are, no mater the circumstances, and have always been drawn to each other in a way I can't seem to control or understand. He lives across the country now. He lives, as far as I know, with another woman almost 20 years younger, typical man ****. But for the 2.5 years since we broke up and he moved (why I broke it off, not him) he would contact me every 3 months or so. He had been back here once before and I wouldn't see him. He still continued to contact me. In the time that has gone he has been the one to push it over and over again. Telling me he loved me even. Back a hand full of month ago he told me he was coming back again and wanted t see me. At first I told him no not at all, but then I got a handful of signs telling me I had to. Was hoping for some resolution.

Well I saw him, we spent a while together, and really nothing was resolved. He never explained his constant contact, he never told me much of anything. He constantly talked about how great things were for him out there, but it sounded and felt like he was trying to convince me or himself. He had a moment when he started talking about being homesick and I thought he was going to open up, but it went no where.

Since he's been gone I did initiate the most resent interactions, but mostly because I was left feeling cheated of what all the build up was for.

I always know when he is going to contact. Or he knows when I am thinking about him, its always been that way.

Too long a post, sorry, hard to explain our background without it. He wasn't good to me, we never lived together, he never even attempted to involve me in his mid life crisis decision to move across the country. But we can not be friends, we are literally incapable of it on any level that doesn't include a sexual relationship. So if he wants to be in my life he know what that part is he has to play, yet he still is playing the I'm happy role, while wanting me to be involved somehow.

So what the hell does the lightning mean? Does it mean stay away and keep on course, or work towards bringing him home to me? Renewal and rebirth can mean anything...
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