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Oh, I completely agree. She definitely has to go through some things while away from me and ‘us’. And only she can walk that road. Whether or not we end up together again will be decided on what she goes through and how she responds to it. She’ll ultimately be faced with who she really is, no screens or hiding. At that point she will either regress even further, and turn and run away from it. Or she’ll stand up to it, accept it, and then seek me out.
I understand her, and know her better than she knows herself. She admitted this to me when we were still together. And since she prefers to hide from who she is, I think it bothered her to know that she couldn’t hide it from me-That I knew her and that I loved her simply for who she really is (and who she really is-that’s what she doesn’t want to face or accept). It also bothered her that I knew myself extremely well, and that I didn’t feel the need (that she feels about herself) to be something different or ‘better’. I know exactly why she cheated and left. I suppose it would have been more surprising if she hadn’t; she was just acting her nature.
I am a truth teller, but nothing regarding that happened too fast between us. We were together for over 10 years. And yes, the guy she’s with would be the kind to tell her exactly what she wants to hear; while at the same time filling her head with his surface, shallow, ‘Christian’ ideals-Such as-it doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past, Jesus forgives you; You don’t need to understand yourself or change anything, you’re perfect, etc.
I’m far from perfect, but we had no major, relationship-ending issues. I had a few things I should have worked harder on, no doubt. I’d say it was 10% me, 90% her. And her 90% of needing something new to distract her from who she was made her lie, cheat, and leave.
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