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Nah, not a bad joke; it made me laugh.
It’s definitely more than physical. I honestly want her back fully and completely, in a long-term, committed relationship. However, I realize that the odds are highly against that, because that rests on her; and means she would have to acknowledge, accept, and embrace who she really is. And for her, that would be monumental and extremely difficult.
She’s still with the same guy she cheated on me with, and left me for. Me wanting her sexually has nothing to do with him at all (I’m not trying to prove something to him or myself, I don’t see him in a ‘superior’ position, etc). If she and I started up something physical secretly, I wouldn’t care if he never found out about it. If he did eventually find out and was hurt, great. But that’s not my motive for wanting her. He’s a complete phony who comes off to the unknowing as ultra-nice & thoughtful, soft spoken, etc. And he presents himself as a devout Christian. When, in reality, he is the exact opposite.
So, no, there really isn’t another motive behind me wanting to have a purely sexual relationship with her. She could continue the façade and fake life she has with him; while she and I could have a lot of fun whenever she had some free time. Perhaps that makes me sound shallow. I’m not. I just love her, miss her, and desire her so much; and I realize she most likely would be capable of enjoying a secret fling with me. That would be more likely than her just dropping him completely and coming back to a full relationship with me.
And if we could get some intensely intimate time alone together, perhaps I could talk with her and slowly try to help her face her issues and deal with them. And if not, and it remained purely physical encounters-well, as I said, she is mind blowing in that area.
You aren’t being intrusive at all. Feel free to say or ask anything. I appreciate all the input.
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