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Originally Posted by Curt
In a sense, I've been camping out at the edge of cosmic consciousness, but I don't dare go through the door or beyond the trailhead because I have these nasty thoughts which frighten me and keep me from being open and relaxed.
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Cosmic Consciousness is something that develops gradually. It is simply expanded consciousness, meaning that one doesn't enter into it, one grows into it rather.
However, there are floods of this state that come as a revelation, a sudden experience that only lasts a short time coming from our spirit, as our spirit is already cosmic conscious by nature.
What you are experiencing could be a precursor to the dark night of the soul, but more likely an illusion cased by the ego conscious to make you believe you have 'reached somewhere'.