I think for starters it is a form of anxiety, a fear, and to then have control you feel safe or at least more safe. The trouble with this is that you are not getting to the very cause of the anxiety, the birth of it, why it's there. I think the muscle tensions are only on the surface, it is what is beneith that is causing it. So where does the anxiety come from? That is something you have to figure out?

I know of someone who in my opinion had this illusion that the home should look 100% perfect - always. To me, living with this person, it was very demanding and I could not do it 100%. And I was to let known that I was not good enough.

Other areas too - he took charge. Demanding things his way. He was not aware of how much and I was too getting so used to it. As I am more relaxed by nature I would go fine then, let him have it his way. I was oblivious to what I was doing too, that was wrong.

OCD and a need for control can project, complicate, mess up relationships. It is not just about the person having it.

Cognitive therapy can help in some cases. I found a link if you are interested
https://www.whiteswanfoundation.org/...e-disorder-ocd

For one thing I applaude you for even recognising that you have OCD. Not everyone with OCD or need for control realize this, but you do and just by doing that I think you are well on your way, even if you don't think that.

I'm just describing the above as I would hate for you to have this not solved and to bring it into a relationship with someone you love. I don't know what kind of OCD you have, it might not at all be what I have experienced.

Understanding, knowledge about it and treatment make a world of difference