Yes, I do recommend journaling. When I was in my forties I wrote my own autobiography, it took many months to write, and I tried not to leave anything out as to how I felt about certain periods of my life, etc. Weeks after I finished I re-read what I had written and it revealed patterns to me, physical behaviors, and ways of thinking and feeling, that I had which I was not aware of. My autobiography helped me put a lot of things in perspective.
I have also done psychological analysis of myself by taking various personality tests, etc., having worked in the mental health field such tests were readily available to me. I also did some esoteric tests on myself using various occult tools. All of these helped me gain perspectives of myself that I probably may not have considered. You know you have and internal blockage but you don’t know why you have that blockage.
I feel like if you want to get rid of it, it might be helpful to try and understand more about it and why it may be there in the first place. The work we have to do on ourselves can sometimes be difficult, but the greater the matter, the greater the release and experience of liberation, when that matter is removed. This internal issue might have worked its way in from outside, external circumstances, etc. You really won’t know until you investigate it.
It may be blocked energy that holds emotion and thought, or patterns of emotion and thought that blocks this energy. There are lots of treatments available for unblocking energy. Look into Ayurvedic medicine, Chinese medicine, or homeopathy, etc. But again, don’t just treat the symptoms, get to the root of the matter. If you have had this for years then it has become rooted in your conditioning, and meditation alone may not alleviate it. Although shinning a light on it through investigation, journaling, etc. may reveal its true nature.
