So I don't know. This is probably an update to this entire post, but I honestly came back here not expecting to see this post. What I mean is, I had completely forgot about it. Well, now for some reason, I decided to log in to tis old account. It's been months since the posting of this and I completely forgot it existed. Even the account.
And it is so strange! I came back here at the right time because I come with the EXACT same set of questions I had asked before. It seems someone is trying to show me something, but that's only because I asked him/her/them to. Sometimes and especially now, I would look up to the sky at the horizon and just internally say, god or whoever you are, if you exist please prove it, reveal to me who you are.
That's when I started seeing major references on billboards, youtube accounts, pins on pinterest, hearing things on the news about jesus or just hearing his name. In one of those particular incidents of looking up at the horizon, I was worried about everything in my life and was crying.
Well, when I got home, (I live in the mountains),I was just taking a walk out on the front of the property and I saw a huge almost fireball (which I latet learned was a meteor and a part of a meteor shower going on on the 28th and 29th of june. ) that pulsated. It was huge and shot through the sky just before it dissappeated. It was seconds that this happened. Somehow I was on the right part of the property, looking at the right part of the sky, in the right direction at the right time. Like god was showing me he existed because I asked.
Not only that, just recently, I've started trying to pray and read the bible. I have bipolar disorder and ussually, I can't do anything because I'm so depressed. When I started all of this, that changed. I was on top of doing chores every day, I took good care of myself and over all was a different person. It shocked me.
I can't say I've completely turned to jesus, but I am definitely comsidering it. I still have that fear of hell, but It's not as bad. Inalso want to note, that as soon as I started seeing jesus' name, I sincerely asked him to show me it was him and that he could work in my life.
I think I got exactly what I asked for. I don't intend to change anyone's belief or offend anyone, this is just a sort of update. Thanks for reading!
