Impressed by another thread in these forums about forgiveness, I lay in bed releasing what I thought was causing me holding onto me from the past, and instead, found myself picturing a different scene from my very early childhood in which I was abused. I hadn't remembered it, and felt too afraid to let it through now too.

I'm not free of the pain from the abusive incidents of my childhood. In one case, aspects of that abuse are ongoing (though the person doing it isn't aware that he is). I feel love for him and have forgiven him for the past, yet I'm still in much pain from the way he treats me now - which is also a flow-over from that incident in the past. I recently asked him not to come anymore and I know I caused him pain because *he* doesn't think of himself as abusive. It's in his manner of speaking, his arrogent taking of charge, his dismissing of me etc.

If I think of forgiving him for the the things he continues to do, I cannot do that unless he is not doing it. (And still I feel bad to have hurt him by asking him not to come around)

Things are sometimes not easy to put aside.

emalie