[Justin Passing]

One day I was working in my "office" upstairs and I started hearing noises in the kitchen, so I went downstairs to investigate. I found this big fat raccoon running around in there. So I thought for a moment (what should I do?) and grabbed a broom. Brooms are great for raccoon sized animals. Good reach - easy to use. Anyway, I opened the front door (to give it a way out) and started encouraging it to leave with the broom.

Thing is, critters tend to be real stubborn about NOT doing what you want them to. I understand that. I'm quite willful and stubborn myself. Still, it was my house, and this coon had to leave. So we "danced" for a while - me with my broom, and it sliding all around on the linoleum. I wasn't trying to hurt it, just push it towards the door without getting myself bit or scratched. That would be bad. If that happened I'd have to kill it to avoid getting rabies shots. I do NOT want rabies shots. NO. And I didn't want to kill it either. I mean - it's just a raccoon looking for food. That's no reason to kill anyone. Besides, I'd have to use a knife or something (no gun), and it's messy and ugly and painful and no. Just no. Killing is nasty stuff.

Anyway, I finally got it out the door, and started straightening up the mess we'd made when it runs back into the kitchen again. There's a cat door in the basement, and it had just circled back inside. Grrrrr. So I chased it into the basement and the "dance" began all over again.

I was laughing - honestly, some stupid old man (me) chasing a fat sleepy raccoon around the basement with a broom was hilarious - but the coon was starting to get really scared. Whining and crying, trying to attack the broom, pleading with me. It was breaking my heart. But I couldn't let it stay in my house. I just couldn't. So I started telling it - look, you can't stay here. This is my house. You have to go. The basement does have a door I could push it towards, but the coon was having none of it. At one point it ran/waddled right through my legs to get away from the open door. It really was quite fat and sleepy from the winter.

Now, with smaller critters like squirrels, bats or mice I sometimes catch them in coffee cans. Corner them and then put the can over them. This coon, however, was way too big for a coffee can. So I grabbed a 5 gallon pail - you know the big plastic ones with lids - and put that over it's head. That coon filled that pail. It just barely fit. Slide the cover underneath - lift it - and flip it over. One "canned" raccoon. Let it relax a little while I closed the cat door, and then carried it off into the field north of the house. When I let it out it scuttled away. I waved goodbye. No hard feelings I hope.

I love having memories like this. This one is bitter-sweet - the whining and crying really did break my heart - but at least no one was hurt. I'm thankful for that.

So what experiences have you had with our fellow travelers on this planet? Any you'd like to share?