Quote:
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Originally Posted by Belle
This.
I am actually of the point of wondering that I might never be ok or free. They just don't go away, they are in the DNA, the bones, the blood. I don't have a reference point of being happy. Yes I have happiness in my life and fun but as a rule of thumb, life is substandard. i know it is and I do wonder if there is a solution.
Pockets of fun and joy but not at the end of the day, the default is a low base.
I do keep trying tho and so I must believe somewhere that it is all possible.
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Belle it is possible and I'm testament to that. My life is still hard and I have my moments but as far as the past is concerned, I no longer live it. I've moved into a state of peace where I live day by day and the pain isn't there. But it's a very difficult, even agonising, process to work through especially when it involves a background as your development is literally infused with trauma. Do what works for you, and keep trusting that freedom is possible.