There is no one on this forum who could answer that question sensibly which is why I suggested professional help.
The answer lies deep in your history and we'd need to know a great deal more before even starting to form a view.

It needs an astute therapist to unearth the reasons by sensitive questioning and suggesting contemplative exercises to help you find out for yourself.
Were it me, I'd start by exploring why you believe you're a medium. One or two people telling you that is no guarantee.

Probably many here wish they had a magic bullet for you but alas, they do not.


A medium is above all a communication channel as I see it. I could be wrong of course.
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