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Although you may get honest advice from other people, eventually you have to learn to tap your inner-guidance. It is the more accurate helper. That will allow you to develop a model of reality, will give you answers to existential questions, and will direct you what to do, what to choose.
Our thoughts and emotions bring in our life situations that will create more such emotions: hate - hate, fear - fear, anger - anger.
Your interpretation about the higher connection between you and your parents follow a widely held belief about these things, that I don't subscribe to.
In contrast, I believe that from the pre/after-life, this life is perceived as we perceive here our dreams. We don't go to sleep with such plans in our mind as the connections you describe. What's happening in our lives is only the result of our individual choices; not even the result of others' choices.
Looking back now, and trying to make sense, in my experience, isn't helpful mainly because it means that you're focusing on negative aspects. This focus has detrimental effect on your current life and possibilities, and what happened in your past isn't the basis for your current and future life.
The basis of your current life are only your current beliefs and expectations. You make your choices now, exercising your ego's free will.
I hope this helps. It was my only intention in writing this to you. I'm sorry for all your pain.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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