[Ordnael]

It takes some time to overcome the disappointment of being beaten, but I understand it, accept it, and finally like it, it was a good thing. Many thoughts arose from this experience.

One of them is that all gods teach, some more kindly than others.

Another pattern, the encounter with a gatekeeper while trying to pass from one region to another with the fairies. Instead of the dog with glowing eyes, this time I found the troublesome guys.

Instead of magic I used aggression, and payed for it. My higher self allowed it, the nymphs set me up to it, I needed it.

Why? Because this is the part of me that should and will die, along with the perishable body. It's what keeps me bound to the material world, the aspect of me that struggles and is rebellious. Pan defeated him, he was stronger, and that's how it is supposed to be.

I had to face my fears and enemies and be defeated by them, so that what is left of me and survives is only what is worthy and divine, reasonable and peaceful. Like the phoenix that is killed, burns up and dissolves, and from the ashes that result from the disturbance, a divinized form arises.

It is a process of purification and filtering, inevitable like Icarus having his wings of wax burnt for attempting to to rise too high with an inadequate equipment.

It is the story of our lives, in which we fight many battles, defeat adversities and achieve things, but in the end are defeated by death, who crushes us and turns us into dust. However, if there's something good inside of us, that part will rise up from the ashes. One cannot expect to pass to higher regions without first going through this destruction and revolution of the soul.

The human mind, unlike the higher self, no matter how much it educates and perfects itself, can never achieve absolute perfection, because it exists in deficiency. To be righteous it demands learning and patience, since because of its smallness it will never know all that is just, nor understand all that is unjust.